Should be a little more intense. @5:35- 5:41, the lady with the pants should be a bit more frantic that Richard hit her sister/mother again. Shaking maybe while getting the water. Arena they suppose to be afraid? Kerry Is way to calm. Your mother/Slater Is getting abused. You should be trying to help but damn near losing your mind. She needs to be a bit more dramatic. The Slater/mama Is very dramatic here, their emotions should meet. VERY GOOD LADIES”!! @0:04-0:09 – Could you make the actual gulping noise with your throat.
Its sounds a little fake (cheesy) when Just saying the noise. @0:26, great popping, but the child needs a different posture, it’s the same posture as the when he was typing. Maybe look a little sillier; after all you’re a child. 0:38-0:40 “you dance around here with your skate boards and bicycles” it seems as if he’s looking at his hands. Try turning more to the left and right actually pointing at something ( the skateboard and the bicycle. ) Then turn to the center and say the goddamn queen of England.
I think you can lose the sound effect of going back into typing. Just pop back into typing mode (or keep it, which ever works) @1 :09, your going to have to make the father a little different. Though the voice changed, he has the same posture as the mother. Since the mother was looking down right, maybe the father can look down left. 1 :38, are you the same person that’s typing? If so, why did you come up as if you were going into an intro? It seems a little off. Also, the mannerisms are the same as the father, they way you point and stand. 2:00 1 think you should slightly pop into the intro, it Just kind of fades into the intro. @2:05, he is still saying the intro while going into typing mode. You must finish it first! @2:16, Be a bit more womanly… Maybe. Hands on hips.. Maybe.. Just trying to distinguish the characters not Just by voice alone. K your looking down the whole time. It will be funny if the characters had a focal point in the audience. Make them a bit uncomfortable, this always worked for me. K, I Just don’t know about these sound effects.. @2:45.. But that may be your “thing”. 3:48-4:08, the characters have the exact same stance, both bent knees. These characters need to be distinguish a little. Since the brother is high maybe he can’t be lazy looking, but make the other brother stand up straight, like a good guy. Maybe… All the characters have the same hand movements @5:43, when dad takes a poop, make this funny. Be “constipated a little”. No one poops like that 101, @6:30 when the father tells the child he’s eating the poop, the child should scream or dear life “NONUNION!!!!! ” a very girl, young boy scream.
Not “WHAT”. Make this funny!!!! Is the dad Italian? If not, make him Italian. Like on the mob movies. This would be so freaking funny. I mean, really REALLY ITALIAN. Http://www. Youth. Com/watch? V=Jaywalking the way the old man talks in this video should be how the father talks in the piece. It would be very funny if he could do this. Overall, great popping technique, Just work on distinguishing the characters a bit more. Im not sure if you guys the use the “box” format, but you kind of shifted all over the place, watch your feet.