How to be happy… All over again!! I made this for you, in hopes that it will help you find light somewhere. Vive read articles, talked to people, put in bits and pieces of quotes and pictures and ideas that I think will help you get back up on your feet. This isn’t meant to do anything but help you feel a little better about your situation, and feel happy. Page 1: The first person I talked to, on omega. Stranger: you go through the grieving process Stranger: its hard, ITIL hurt but eventually you will feel okay.
You’ll think about them and how much you miss them but instead of feeling sad you’ll feel happy that you got o spend that time with them while you did You: Does that actually happen? Have you had personal experience or a close friend with personal experience? You: Vive never dealt with it before so I don’t know what to believe Stranger: both of my grandfathers died when I was old enough to know Stranger: my great grandmother died when I was young Stranger: but when my grandfather on my moms side died I was a wreck for weeks and weeks You: Were you close to him?
Stranger: I was You: Im sorry if you don’t want me to ask, stop me at any time Stranger: I remember going to his house when I was young and he’d play dolls with me and stuff Stranger: no its okay. I’ve accepted it, I feel happy talking about him. You: Were you close to your mother as well? Stranger: I was closer to him than on my dads side. Stranger: My dads father was kind of a Jerk and didn’t like kids too much You: I’m sorry to hear that! 🙁 How were you able to get out of the sadness?
Stranger: but after he died I found out I was the only baby he held and that I was his favorite and that’s what hurt the most You: Oh my goodness Stranger: I Just let time heal Stranger: It gets better, you’ll start to think about the happy times and smile instead f feel sad Stranger: its nice to talk about them too You: Did you ever take out your anger or sadness on the people you loved the most? Your friends, maybe a significant other? Stranger: Yeah I took it out on my friends because none of them really understood what it was like cause they never lost someone close to them You: Did they get angry with you and leave?
Stranger: yeah You: Do you forgive them for it? Or do you wish they stayed Stranger: I do. Stranger: but my true friends are the ones who came back and consoled me when it was all too much You: Thank you for answering, by the way. And I’m really happy to hear you made it through. Its my ex boyfriend, his grandmother died. And his actions have been hurting me the whole time she was sick and when she died. I want to be there for him but it hurts me too much because of what he does to me, You: And I want to help him You: But I don’t know if it’s right for me to do that Stranger: is he hurting you physically or mentally?
You: Mentally hurting me too much You: and I don’t want him to have to deal with it by himself You: But at the same time I feel like he is Just going to find someone else to take care of his sadness Stranger: he has people, I can promise you that. His family will be there for him, friends arena always the best people to go through those processes with because they didn’t know the person as well as they did Stranger: I think for your well being you should give him some space, let him get over it a bit and be neutral about it You: Thank you so much The point of showing you this, was to show you that you are not alone.
Not to rub in your face whether I’ll be here or not. And because I have never dealt with death myself, I don’t know how it feels. And I asked someone else, in hopes that they could ray to get me to understand better, so I could help you. “The best thing to do when you need love, is to give love. ” Surely there are many other people hurting, and in need of love. And there is no greater feeling than to give somebody Joy in their heart. And sometimes that’s where love starts. It doesn’t have to be romantic, with anyone. But when you help someone smile, it makes you smile.
It’s one of those wonderful things that automatically rids your heart of some of the pain it’s enduring. And it doesn’t always have to work, and you don’t always need to do it either. But not only will it make you feel better, but it will make them feel better too. It doesn’t necessarily make this an act of selflessness, because it’s made to benefit you in so many ways too. Don’t do it Just to build relationships, but do it for the purpose of helping yourself. If you always expect something out of it, you might end up finding yourself disappointed if you don’t get But remember, this is for you, Paul.
And by giving out these acts of kindness, not only will you be happy and find love growing within yourself, but love might find you too. (and it doesn’t always have to be from someone else. You’ll also learn to love yourself this way too, Paul. ) Remind yourself that whatever you are feeling, it’s okay. You’re obviously not going to be okay, right now. And you’re going to feel upset, and grieve. You’re not going to be your best, and that’s OKAY! Nobody going to expect you to be your best- I certainly don’t.
Your teachers will understand if your grades fall, your friends will understand if you act distant, and to the ones who don’t, don’t mind them. Try not to feel bad for yourself all the time, either. This is a tough time for you, and you have to let yourself feel for a while. Take a few days, maybe a week or so, and let yourself have the time you need. You don’t have to be expected at work, or school either. It’s actually expected that you take some time, so while the wound is still fresh- take it. And let yourself go through the healing process. And along with all that, don’t let yourself add any unnecessary stress to your shoulders.
If you feel like you’re going to snap at somebody and say things you don’t mean (which you will, and maybe you already have) you’re going to hurt someone else’s feelings too. And you don’t have to do that. And while it is understood, it isn’t always nice. So if you need space, or if you need to tell somebody not to talk to you because you will say something you don’t mean, then by all means do so! It will save someone else from being hurt, and it will save you from feeling guilty about it later. Learning to understand yourself, And learning to Forgive This is a carry on of what I said before. This is when you are the most vulnerable.
You’re in need of any sort of love or happiness you can find- and that’s understandable. (But don’t let yourself find happiness in the obvious things that will eater be detrimental to you!! ) It’s such a hard feeling, because so much goes on in one day, accomplishments, drama, sad things, happy things, and at the end of the day you don’t have anyone to tell. It feels that way for you, (and for me too). But this is the time that you aren’t blinded by anybody else, (hopefully) and you can hopefully learn to understand yourself better. Learn the mistakes you’ve made in your past, and why you made them.
Learn what you can do to make them better, and you’ll be taking a step closer to loving yourself. It all starts with knowing yourself. I’ll tell you something I learned about myself in this past month. It’s funny, because I never realized it until I read this book, about forgiveness. I learned that when you don’t forgive people for the things they have done to you, you slowly turn bitter, and become incapable of loving others. And I learned that that’s what my mistake was. I never forgave you for what you did to me, and our whole relationship was set on my anger, and my revenge, and resent.
Because I never learned to forgive you. I never learned to forgive Bruit, and that’s why Vive become cold hearted enough to wish for her father’s death. And that’s why I’m always so angry at the mere thought of her. But forgiving others isn’t Just it either, I have to learn how to forgive myself now- for the wrong things I are. I realized that if you can’t learn to forgive, you’ll never learn to love. And I don’t know yet how to forgive, but I’m trying to make a conscience effort to, for myself. I’m almost happy and excited about this change, because I’ll finally be able to love someone, and love them right.
And I know myself well enough to know how hard it’s going to be. Because I know how bitter I am, and I know my insecurities, and how ass I give up, and I have to keep telling myself not to give up and give into my demons. I know I will, and I know that sometimes I’ll throw in the towel, but I have to remind myself that it’s okay, too. Because I’m only human, and I’m not perfect. And once you can understand that, you’ll be that much closer to being happy and loving yourself. Here’s a link to the book about forgiving, I really think it will be beneficial for you to read. (Fortunately the author made it free to download!!
Just type the link into your browser) http://www. Plough. Com/en/eBooks/w/why-forgive Fill out these next few pages, but first, this is your duckling. Name him/her, and take care of your duckling. (You can only bring it to life by filling out all the pages and then coloring the duckling) Name: Age: What I love about my owner: Write down 5 negative things you associate with yourself. 2. 3. 4. 5. Write 5 things that counteract that negative thing. (For example: If you wrote that you don’t like your acne- note that it is only temporary and will go away! Or if you don’t like your teeth, but you have an awesome smile!
Or your acknowledge both good & bad in your life) Fill this bubble with frequent negative thoughts you have. And the fun part: when you’re done, destroy it. This will ensure that your duckling is rid of all sorts of negative thinking. And this will get you in the habit of learning to let go of your negative thoughts. 90% of the time they are Just negative assumptions that only you can let go of! This is a mirror. Inside of it you will write how you see yourself. On the outside of it you will write how others see you. (ask around- DO NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS) Distinguish between what is real, and what isn’t.