Rip Van Winkle Revisited
“As he approached the village, he met a number of people, but none that he knew…’. The pounding in his head from the ghostly grog was second only to the disorientation he felt seeing the town that was no longer his town. The Inn where he had so often sat and discussed the answers to life’s questions was now brightly lit, with the marquee promoting “Motel 6, we’ll leave a colonial lamp lit for you”. The streets were filled with British soldiers, in full redcoat regalia, but not in wartime solace, rather in a friendly game of cricket with the town children. There seemed to be a definite lack of animosity between the people and the occupying army. They seemed to be friendly with each other. As he went on towards his homestead, he found himself wondering if Wolf would be there waiting for him on the porch, tail wagging in excited welcome. Then a dismal and horrid realization came to his mind, what if instead of Wolf, it was Dame Van Winkle, angrily tapping her foot, fully prepared to excoriate him for the time he had spent in the wood. He walked up to the porch and breathed a great sigh of relief when he saw Wolf, fast asleep.
Somewhat older, but still alert, Wolf perked up when he heard Rip’s footfalls crunching the fallen leaves. “Well look who decided to show up said the dog, in amazingly clear English diction. Rip was taken aback, was his dog really talking? Must be a residual of his last night’s drinking. “Excuse me?” replied Rip. “Are you speaking to me?” Wolf tilted his head quizzically, and laughed. “Of course Rip, don’t you remember your old friend Wolf?” “I’ve been wondering when you would show up, you’ve been gone quite a while. You’re in luck though chap, Dame Van Winkle is presently indisposed, so if you’d like to run off quickly, she may not even see you.” Rip stood there for a moment and finally gasped with excitement, “She is not here? Oh, what a thrill!” Rip ran through the house with a bag and hurriedly grabbed all his belongings. “Now Wolf, if you feel the way I feel about Dame Van Winkle you will join me and we can leave town and never come back.” Wolf sat there for a moment and put his head down. For this moment Rip actually thought his fellow companion for over the years would not follow him in his lead and stay. Wolf finally arose and started trotting off into the street.
Along the way, Wolf began to talk more, “Are you sure about this?” He asked, “You might not like what you are about to find out” added the dog. Rip, still uncomfortable with the dog talking to him, gave the creature a sly look as if questioning how the animal knew anything about him or his life when it did not quite seem to give a damn before. Rip lifted his free hand to his chin in silent thought and noticed that his stubble had become more than just stubble; instead, they have grown into long strands that seemed to occupy the best of his face. Perhaps he had just forgotten to shave, he thought to himself. Along the way, they passed the window of a candy store and Rip, suddenly feeling excruciatingly hungry, stopped to look at the goodies through the glass pane. While looking at the candies through the window Rip noticed something else. Other than the solid reds, yellows, and browns of the candy, the glass pane seemed to reflect back the image of a man he could not recognize. All the color from the man’s hair in the reflection seemed to be drained into the candy. The man he was looking at had boring, salt and pepper hair. Rip could not help but notice the striking resemblance of the man to his father. Rip walked in the store and the store owner, who also had salt-and-pepper hair, looked at him like he was some old acquaintance.
“Rip?” the store owner asked, to which he smiled in response, “Why, you look like the years have taught you a lot.” Added the store owner; Rip wondered what he meant by this. Rip turned around without buying any candy. He smiled confident that a life without Dame Van Winkle would be leaps better than the one he currently had.
[RU1] Passing by the neighbors thinking life was finally going to change, everything would finally be alright. No more Dame Van Winkle was enough to make him scream in joy. “Rip Van Winkle, is that you?” He heard from afar. “Is that my Old Rip Van Winkle?” Rip wanted to run, he wanted to escape her but he turned his head and to his amazement he noticed a Dame Winkle with a young chap holding her hand. “Oh dear! It is you! Oh my Rip I thought you were long gone, were have you been?” Rip wanted to run, but soon felt a sting to the heart. Who was this young chap? And why was he with his wife? Rip looked down at Wolf searching for a way out of this. “Who is this man? And why are you with him? What does he have that I don’t? Tell me woman! Tell me now!” Rip screamed. Dame looked at him in astonishment, “Are you serious? It has been 20 years Rip. There were days on end on which I cried for you, and stayed up late thinking you would finally come home, but you never did. And my grass, oh dear lord, my grass became horrendous and hired this young chap to take care of it since you never did!” Rip stood there with his mouth open and she continued to yell. “Oh and did he take care of it. He took very good care of it, and me.”
Rip walked away in disgust and then all of sudden he turned his head to see Wolf follow Dame with the young chap. Rip went to an old tree to take in what had just over-whelmed him. After deep thought, he decided to take this as a wake-up call to go home and take care of business. He worked alongside the young chap, busting his rump to keep up. His wife of years decided that maybe, just maybe to give her old Rip a second chance. However, she could not part from her young lover, as his work could not be matched by any other. Rip, knowing this, felt his heart breaking in pieces, for he felt he could never measure up to this young lad. Low and behold, Rip came across an old Indian who had discovered a natural herb that worked like Viagra. Therefore, old Rip found out that he could in fact measure up to the young chap. Dame found out that her encounters with both guys separately was not enough, therefore one lonely night she secretly seduced two male lovers into the same room. Let’s just say fireworks were going off in and around the house. Old Rip’s son and daughter, through this whole ordeal couldn’t take the drama any longer. They secretly conspired to get rid of this young lad, so that maybe they could get their family back together. Unfortunately, this lad got wind of their plot and decided to get back at them all. He felt, if he couldn’t have Dame for himself then to hell with them all. One night, when all was asleep, all of a sudden you hear a loud scream. The daughter had awoken to burning flames all over and as she tried to escape the burning house, she came across three charred bodies on crosses. With all the distraught, the daughter collapse and perished in the fire with the other family members.
Wait, Rip awoke with a sore noggin, come to find out he trip over a tree trunk and was knocked out for several hours. He and Wolf made their way back into town, to find out his nagging wife was still alive. Remember the part about the old Indian, that part came to fruition and the nagging Dame was no longer.
[RU1]Here is the part that I added.