Abstract

Emotional attraction involves feeling a deep connection to another person. When there is an emotional attraction together with romance, it ends up building a strong relationship. The context of this paper is establishing how romance and emotional connection relate to each another.

Introduction

Attraction is experiencing an emotional connection towards someone. It can be more than physical in cases where an individual has romantic feeling to the one that he/she is attracted to. In cases where couples continuously connect, attraction may result to love that may go way past comprehension. When individuals are physically, intellectually and also emotionally attracted to each other, they may end up in a more intense relationship. When there is an emotional attraction between individuals, a powerful bond usually develops between them. This bond usually becomes obvious to people around the individuals. It can be seen through the way the couples look at each other.

Emotional together with physical attraction between individuals can be so powerful to the extent of leaving them in a state of bliss or intoxicated with love. This type of attraction is not common and the feelings and emotions in such situations are difficult to understand. Just a touch by another partner is usually enough to leave the other weak with passion.

Emotional attraction involves an individual being attracted to another person’s emotions unconsciously but passionately. This is usually an indication that an individual is in love with another person’s feelings and that they relate at the same level such that they are able to affect each other emotionally. When one individual is sad, happy or hurt, the other one is likely to respond in a similar way.

Romance is a pleasant passionate feeling that is brought about by love. In romantic situations, it is not always that there has to be an emotional attraction. People may be intellectually or physically attracted which results in a wide range of bonds. A couple my not be emotionally connected but they may have physical intimacy.

Is there a right way of love?

There are different definitions of love depending on individuals. This is because of the different views that different individuals hold about love. An individual’s act of love may not be perceived to be so by a different individual. Love is distinctive to different individuals and couples. To some couples, small acts of kindness to each other may be their way of expressing love to one another while to others; they may require more than just simple acts to express love. In a relationship, for love to exist, there are expectations that need to be met by both partners, failure to which tension arises between them (Hulk & Pollock, 2001).

When people enter into a relationship with expectation to have their partners behave like them, it leads to misunderstanding and unhappiness. This strains the relationship. Unless the couples appreciate the fact that they are different, they are bound to experience problems in their union. Most successful relationships have been built on respect for one another and compromise of some things. For a successful and loving relationship, couples need to trust their heart and do what will favor both of them. They should be able to appreciate one another’s differences and try to cope with them instead of trying to criticize. The fact that they are different and were raised in different environment, they cannot expect to possess the same characters and behaviors. They should try to connect to one another emotionally and with that, they could be able to find love and peace with each other (Constable, 2003).

The feeling of love/chemistry

This is a biological electric feeling that brings about a rush of passion to couples when together. In some relationships, this feeling can be so powerful that when they are together they can mutually feel it without touching. The feeling may keep growing with time such that when the couples touch each other’s hands, an instant biological response is experienced.

True chemistry can be intoxicating to the couple involved such that they cannot be able to fulfill their daily duties perfectly. They may find it difficult to separate from each other. They may experience an intense passion for one another that alienates them from the real world. Although chemistry involves strong feelings towards each other, it may exist without the actual love (Hulk, & Pollock, 2001). This can be especially challenging and hurting when it is only one party involved. Although a couple can love each other but lack the chemistry, this does not make the relationship less good to those that get a privilege of experiencing it. A couple may lack chemistry during their earlier days together, but this may come to exist as the relationship grows and matures (Coale, 1998).

 Chemistry may not be a necessity for love to exist but if it happens to be present, it can take couples to unimaginable levels. For one to experience it, you need to open up feel and express emotions that exist within you. Other people become so stressed up and worried that they do not get the opportunity to loosen up and get to experience the feeling. If a person releases the inhibitions that exist within and expresses the feelings inside, they may be amazed to find that a friend that they could have stayed with for long without emotional attachment could turnout to be their soul mate (Constable, 2003).

How to reveal to someone you are attracted to the truth

There are several ways in which this can be achieved. The first step should be ensuring that the person is available and that he/she is single, after which you can proceed using any of the following ways:

If you are the kind of person who is free and outgoing, you can decide to share your feeling over coffee or dinner. But if you are reserved and could like expressing your heartfelt feeling in a private and quite place, you can do it at home, while walking or on a nature trail. If you are the type of person who doesn’t like talking openly about their feelings, you can write an email or send a letter to the person. You can also express them through romantic gestures. Such gestures could include: sending roses accompanied with a card expressing your feeling or if it’s a woman who is interested in man, she can buy him a gift related to his interest. Gifts bring out the feeling and attraction a person has towards the other (Cupach & Spitzberg, 2004).

A romantic dinner can also do or you could decide to spend a weekend away in a romantic place. One should basically spend more time with the person he/she is interested in and engage in activities that both of them like. Generally, notes indicating affection can also help in expressing out your feelings. You can put a romantic note in a place that you know the person is likely to find it and wait for their response as this can be fun. Body language is also important as it can be expression of your inner feelings to a person. Acts such as hugs, warm smiles and even reaching for one’s hand can say a lot (Galician, 2004).

Emotional attraction

According to Holmes (2006), most relationships with an emotional attraction turn out to be successful. Although looks count in a relationship, they cannot form a basis of a relationship. This is so because, with time, looks may disappear and if there are no other attractions to sustain the relationship, it may end up failing. As much as physical emotions together with emotional attractions are important, intellectual attraction should also not be left out. Emotional attractions have been found to result in relationships that are stronger compared to physical attraction. People, who are able to emotionally relate to each other, treat each other in a better way. The way a couple relates to each other can tell if they are emotionally attracted to one another (Cupach & Spitzberg, 2004).

Emotionally attracted people enjoy doing things and spending time together for a long period of time regardless of the activity that they are involved in. They care about thoughts and feelings of one another in a sincere way. In majority of people, body language, attitude together with emotions play an important role in attraction. Confidence, attitude regarding various life issues and also views about relationships matter to some. A closed look with introverted body language keeps people off you. Body language speaks volumes about an individual such as if he/she is approachable. Simple actions such as smiling or having a positive attitude help in bringing out a positive body language (Greven, 2006).

Signs that could indicate if true love really exists

According to Galician (2004), when somebody is in a relationship, it is difficult for that individual to determine if he/she is in a true love or not. But generally, there are aspects that an individual needs to look for which can disclose true love.

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The most obvious one is when people are always smiling when together. If individuals are happy together, there is a possibility that they are both in love. This happiness in not the normal happiness but it’s the kind of happiness that expresses peak happiness for both.

Another aspect is passage of time. When individuals are in love, they don’t seem to notice time flying. They may lose track of time and vanish into their own time zone without a beginning or an end. It may seem like a dreamlike condition of shared happiness (Piep, 2003).

Couples in love prioritize each other. You may find that there is a lot of work that they are supposed to attend to but they could be able to spare time for one another. Understanding one another’s work forms part of true love so that you could be able to program your schedule to fit into each others’. This could ensure that a balance is made between work and your relationship.

Unplanned acts of love together with thoughtfulness can also be an indication of real love. This are those little gestures of love that come when least expected. They can be kind and affectionate gestures or sincerer conversations with your partner expressing how you feel about him/her. (Gifra, 2000)                                                                                                                                     People who are in true love involve one another in their activities. This can be seen when one of them has a plan of traveling to a place and requests the other to accompany him/her. This acts as a show of true love as it brings out the desire of involving the other partner in their plans. The feeling experienced when touched or hugged by people in love is also different.

Common values and goals in relationships

 According to Coale (1998), it is essential to know your partner’s aspirations and things that matter to both of you. It is also important to figure out individual values and goals so that you can see if they match. Sometimes people come to realize that they have different values/goals long after they have started a relationship. It’s important for couples to determine if they share general values and if what each partner wants out of the relationship is acceptable or shared by the other. They should be able to access how each of the unshared goals together with values will affect their relationship and if they could be able to overcome the challenge.

Differences in brain sex of men and women

According to Schlinger (2004), men and women recognize the world in considerably unlike ways. This is because brains of both men and women differ in a number of ways. They include: hearing abilities, tasking abilities, language functions, spatial capabilities, emotional availability and also breadth of attention. These changes are partly due to the different structural and functional structures. Because of this, one should be able to recognize and appreciate limitations together with gifts from the opposite sex. An open mind should be encouraged in cases where brain sex differences are manifested. Through this, proper and strong relationships both physical and emotional could be able to be developed (Brooks, 2007).

Reference

Brooks, J. (2007). Music as Erotic Magic in a Renaissance Romance. Renaissance Quarterly, 60(4), 1207+. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=5036265629

Coale, S. C. (1998). Mesmerism and Hawthorne: Mediums of American Romance. Tuscaloosa, AL: University of Alabama Press. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=21004596

Constable, N. (2003). Romance on a Global Stage:  Pen Pals, Virtual Ethnography, and “Mail-Order” Marriages. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=105852262

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Galician, M. (2004). Sex, Love & Romance in the Mass Media:  Analysis & Criticism of Unrealistic Portrayals & Their Influence. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=104834788

Gifra-Adroher, P. (2000). Between History and Romance:  Travel Writing on Spain in the Early Nineteenth-Century United States. Madison, NJ: Fairleigh Dickinson University Press. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=114872341

Greven, D. (2006). In a Pig’s Eye: Masculinity, Mastery, and the Returned Gaze of the Blithedale Romance. Studies in American Fiction, 34(2), 131+. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o;d=5019811736

Holmes, D. (2006). Romance and Readership in Twentieth Century France. New York: Oxford University Press. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o;d=116181534

Hulk, A. ; Pollock, J. (Eds.). (2001). Subject Inversion in Romance and the Theory of Universal Grammar. New York: Oxford University Press. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o;d=108656494

Piep, K. H. (2003). Liberal Visions of Reconstruction: Lydia Maria Child’s a Romance of the Republic and George Washington Cable’s the Grandissimes. Studies in American Fiction, 31(2), 165+. Retrieved April 30, 2010, from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o;d=5002442723

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