Our story begins over Island 9512D, 10 miles west of No-where and just south of the United States of Wherever. I am flying a Hypnodysk(tm) MS-1 -the first ever mega-sonic transport to be built. My mission is to rescue a tribe known as Earak and their leader Rickard Hoarsefeld and uncover his clandestine operation to build weapons of mass construction. Only one tribe can help me…
The piece in my ear screeches suddenly while I am studying a large village in the midst of a massive forest. It screams “ENGINE MALFUNCTION! WARNING! CRASH IMMINENT!” I glance over to the altimeter, which informs me that I am 4000ft in the sky and falling at a rate of 90ft per second I will reach the ground in 44.4 seconds. I yank at the lever to deploy emergency air brakes, which slow me down to 75ft per second at 2950ft and giving me a further 39.3 seconds in which to clamber into the emergency pod and make my escape. Just then I notice a man on the ground, this man is a tall man a scruffy looking man but I pay no attention to him…
We now move on to ground where we see a man gawping at a strange sight in the sky. This man is a tall man; a scruffy looking man, and the strange sight is heading right for him…
The altimeter now reads 795ft and a drop speed of 50ft/sec giving me 15.9seconds to press the release mechanism so that the powerful rockets on my pod can be fired and I can be freed from the scene of the accident and into the arms of safety. As I press the button I hear the scream as the tall, scruffy looking, and now terrified man realises that the newest, fastest and strongest ship ever taken into the skies will soon flatten him -in 10.3 seconds to be precise.
The crash is dreadfully loud but amazingly no explosion ensues. The man crawls out from under a large slab of the ships mono-carbonate shell. He looks all around but can see nothing but darkness. He looks again but still, only darkness. Then he finds out what’s wrong and opens his eyes. This time when he looks around he sees smoke, and walking towards him through the smoke is another man far shorter than him. As he gets nearer he notices that he has some kind of uniform on.
As I near the man I hesitate, do I recognise him? Before I have a chance to consider this possibility the man speaks.
“Was this your ship?” He asks.
I think about this for a while searching for a suitable answer, I have to tell him the truth he deserves to know.
“Of course this isn’t my ship!” I lied “I was just passing by when I saw the crash.”
He looks at me suspiciously as a bump so large I could mistake it for a molehill grows on his head I almost laugh but he looks deadly serious so I don’t. Just as I think he can see straight through my lie he smiles and he says, “of course it’s not your ship, I was silly to ask. My names Tonie by the way, Tonie Blï¿½r.”
I sigh with relief and then I understand why I thought I recognised this man, “your one of the prototype mechanised world leaders.” I thought for a moment and then said, “you were going to replace Tony Blair in 2004 at the same time as Georg Boush would be coming into power.”
He looks astonished and stares at me. When he finally speaks it is quieter than before, “How did you know about that?”
“I was in charge of building the first ever working design,” I begin “it was supposed to be there to keep the peace. But this particular model didn’t work how we’d hoped. It was called Hitler. In 1945 we had to make him disappear in order work on the circuits and then we started the Tonie Blï¿½r project. This time though the molecular computers that we used to give these robots a mind of their own were more advanced. Just as we were nearing success Tony Blair Launched a massive nuclear attack to the USA because of an argument over who should control the now obliterated country of Iraq. The war made it impossible to work on Operation World Harmony so the whole project team were frozen in suspended animation until peace was returned. The prototypes were sent to this island.
“However when the war was over in 2010, both countries were destroyed and rebuilding facilities didn’t exist we needed help.
“So on January 26th 2112 I was woken and told of my mission, and that I would be leaving on the 21/12/2112. So, here I am.”
By this time Tonie doesn’t know what to think so he asks, “and what is your mission?”
“Well I was sent out here to replace your circuits and return you to power. Also we believe that Rickard Hoarsefeld can help rebuild the two nations to their superpower status.”
“How can he help?” questioned Tonie, “and why replace our circuits.”
“I shouldn’t be telling you this but Rickard is the leader of a covert operation to create the worlds first weapon of mass construction. Furthermore in answer to your latter question, your current circuits are obsolete and are over 100 years old!”
Tonie takes my hand and pulls me to the edge of the village. When he speaks he tells me:
“You revealed to me your secret now it’s my turn to reveal my secret.
“When you placed us on this island, we developed ways to evolve our molecular computers using DNA and now our circuits not only allow us to have a mind of our own, but we can maintain ourselves and develop technology faster than mankind.”
I’m dumfounded. I can’t believe how a robot designed by man, could exceed man’s own technological abilities, on its own.
“This is incredible!” I exclaim.
“Let me show you the rest of the village.”
We step through vast steel gates and the view that passes through my eye is astounding. Every street coated in brilliant shiny metal of all colours; gold, silver, bronze even copper. The people in the street varied between great metallic dames all the way down to the lowest of the low, the tramps, the buskers and even robotic robbers. But you couldn’t really call the great crowds, crowds of robots because they are uncontrolled and they had their own mind to evolve and move about, so they were almost just metallic people. But, just like the tin man in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ they don’t have a heart, they just run on their CPU.
“Why are there so many of them?” I utter
“Well the thing is,” Tonie begins, “our circuits have a large power supply, so as it travels around our circuits all the waste electricity is stored and when there is enough energy stored a ‘baby’ is born.”
“I don’t think anything can shock me about this place anymore, I’ve seen it all!”
Tonie is pleased by this “In that case,” he cries ” its time for you to meet our leader so that you can tell him your mission.”
We head towards a large building situated in what my hypothesis suggests is the centre of town expecting nothing that can startle me inside.
I was very wrong. As I walked into the main office of the large room I saw a man sitting at one end of a very large desk. Now you may be wondering what is so very stunning about this, so was I until I approached.
This man had a moustache, a short stubby moustache just under his nose; he also had short black hair sown into his head. Just as I was wondering whom he could possibly be, I was put out of my misery only to be placed in even more misery. “Let me introduce you to our honourable leader,” shouted Tonie, “the new, improved, first ever prototype, just got better. Give it up for Adolf Hitler MkII!”
It can’t be. It was impossible. I don’t understand, for 100 years Hitler has been ruling this place if not longer. I really had seen it all now but then I looked around and saw the rest. Georg Bousch, Josef Starling and even Maggie Thatchor, all the world leaders with molecular powered chips under their skins.
Tonie Blï¿½r speaks again, “I’ve brought someone who wants your help.”
“Vhat do you vant me to do for you?” inquires Hitler.
I still look on with bewilderment but I manage to stutter, “I…I…I’ve been sent here by the World Rebuilding Administration (WRA) because I need your help in discovering the whereabouts of one Rickard Hoarsefeld. Also I need you to negotiate with him and persuade him that he should come with us and help rebuild the superpowers USA and UK.”
“Vhats in it for me?” comes Hitler
“I can return you to power in whichever country you choose. If we can build more of these mechanised leaders we can begin to take the first steps towards world peace.”
“How do vee know zat you vill keep your promises.”
“I knew you’d ask, so I will provide a communication link with my superiors in El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora La Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula or just Los Angeles to you and me.”
“Lets get searching right away.”
Rickard Hoarsefeld was sitting in his immense garden thinking. He couldn’t decide where he should put the fountain he’d moved it 12 times already today. Just as he was about to change his mind again, his butler -a short, bald, idiot of a man looking all of his 62 years – strolled out.
“What is it now, Jon!?”
“It’s visitors sir, from Lodnon City.”
“What could they want? I’ve already told them I can’t build them any more houses!”
“Why don’t you see them and find out what they want?”
His butler smiles and waits patiently for an answer, which seems to be taking an awful long time.
“Fine, send then in.”
When they entered Rickard recognises them all at once apart from one new guy that he can’t put a name to.
I see Rickard staring at me so I decide to introduce myself, “Hi I’m Rob and I’m here to make a proposition to you.”
Here we go again thinks Rickard, but says nothing.
“You may have heard of the Inter Power War between the UK and USA”
“Indeed. What of it?”
“Well all the buildings in both these countries were destroyed”
Rickard could see where this was going, “So you want me to go all the way over to these countries with my weapons of mass construction and rebuild your precious buildings?”
“In theory, yes”
“And in practice?”
“You’ll meet loads of new people, visit other countries and generally be famous just like all your greatest heroes.”
“I would quite like that actually.”
“Then what are you waiting for the ship that will be taking us should be ready in the morning and we can leave as soon as we can.”
“But what about all my friends and family. What about Jon my butler I can’t leave them!”
“Bring them along with you.”
“I see you’ve thought of everything let’s pack!”
The next morning as the sun rises I am the first one up checking that the ship is fixed. I managed to tell Tonie the truth, he was none too happy but he saw that I meant well and we stayed friends. That very morning at approximately 11:34:19 AM the ship lifts off laden with: fuel, plans, weapons of mass construction and most importantly the people, ready to finally take on the role for which they were built, the molecular powered world leaders to keep the peace. Not forgetting the genius that is Rickard Hoarsefeld.
Join Rob and his new found friends in his next story Rob the Invisible coming to all bad bookshops near you.