I couldn’t wait until Sunday and when it came I was so nervous. It was the day that I was going on my first date with Joan. I had been out and bought every thing that I might need which included condoms because I was sure that I would be having sex to night. Any way it was a very windy night and we were supposed to be going for a walk. I was really nervous because I was still a virgin and I didn’t know what to do. I was really hoping that she was also a virgin because then I would not make a fool of my self if I did do some thing wrong – although there is not much chance of that happening because I have seen enough porn films to have a good idea.
When we met up we couldn’t decide where to go, so I suggested that we go down to the beach. She said that it’s really windy. I don’t really think that she wanted to go but she went any way. When we got down to the beach the spray spattered us like the rain, but I didn’t mind. She was really quiet so I decided that I would start the conversation. At first I just cracked a few jokes, then I went on to tell her about this really good film that I had been to see, making sure that she knew I went alone. It was an action film and I suggested that we should go and see it. She replied by saying “yah maybe”. I sensed that she wasn’t in to action films so I stopped talking about it.
I really don’t know how we made it across that beach. It was really hard. You had to lean forwards in to the wind and have your eyes half open to stop the sand getting in them. She just walked without saying a word. I looked at her and thought to my self that I would love to be kissing her right now and then she looked at me and just smiled. Then we both looked away. I turned to look at her again and thought to my self that she was the most beautiful person that I’d ever known. Then she turned to look at me. I turned away quickly because I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. We carried on walking down the beach.
So I tried to start the conversation again and asked her about her family, although she couldn’t really hear me as the wind was so strong and there were so many other noises around. She kept saying “What!” and pointing to her ears. At first I thought that she was a bit mad or that there was some thing wrong with her ears. Then I realised that she was trying to tell me that she couldn’t hear me. So I eventually gave up.
I started to think what I really wanted all this to lead to, and how much I wanted to do her tonight. Then for some odd reason she decided to run on a head – actually she really looked as if she was enjoying it. I ran and caught up with her, grabbing her arms and she fell to the ground. I lent over to give her a hand to get up but instead she pulled me down. I thought that she wanted to have sex out here and was going to start kissing me but instead she got back up and started to laugh and then she began to walk on. I caught up with her and didn’t say anything. I think that she was a bit embarrassed because she had been too violent with me, but really I didn’t mind.
I started to fantasise about what would happen. And about how much I wanted her to screw me. I thought that I would start to talk and said, “Look”. She tried to grab me and I stopped her by grabbing her hands. “What?” she said. I looked at her and then went to kiss her. I then let go of her hands and put my arms around her and all the time we were kissing I was thinking to my self that I never wanted to stop and I kept my mouth on her mouth for as long as I could. She then pushed me away and started laughing. I thought that’ she’d wanted to kiss but it looks like I was wrong.
We carried on walking until we got my place I asked her in for some coffee and she said yes. I couldn’t believe it, she actually said yes. So we went in and sat down and I went to put the kettle on. I came back and sat down next to her. She looked at me and started to kiss me and then she put her hand down my shirt. We then stopped kissing and looked at each other but said nothing. I went to unbutton her top but I went very slowly in case she didn’t want me to.
After that I suggested that we go in to the bedroom. I thought to my self, those condoms will come in useful after all. I couldn’t believe it. She was so beautiful, plus the fact I was finally going to lose my virginity. There were so many different things going through my mind. I thought that I could finally prove to my mates that I am not gay and that I can get a woman in bed. I was so pleased.
After we had finished I was so happy I couldn’t believe it. That was the best feeling I had ever had. I still couldn’t believe I had finally done it and I was so pleased that I had. I really would like it to work out for us and I would like to take our relationship one step farther. What would my mates think if they knew – they would be so gutted and shocked because they really thought that I was gay. Eventually I fell asleep, think about how wonderful it really was.
The next morning I woke up and she was sitting at the edge of the bed putting on her shoes. I said, “Are you up already?”
“Oh”. I looked at her and started thinking to my self that she was not really the one for me. I could get better. It doesn’t matter if she is the one that I lost my virginity with. Who cares? I’m more experienced now.
“Its snowed” she said.
“Has it?” She seemed to have this weird thing with snow.
“Yes”, she said
” I’m starving”, I replied it always makes me hungry. Lets go and buy some stuff to cook a big breakfast. “Pass my jeans – on that chair”.
She went and stood by the window staring at the snow. I thought that she’d regretted it and that she hadn’t really wanted to do it because she looked so scared. I decided not to say anything in case she snapped and decided to end our relation ship. So I just decided to let her have some time to get used to the whole thing. “Are you coming?” I said and went downstairs without waiting for an answer. You know the best thing is that I have had sex with the one person who I most wanted to have sex with. Now I can prove to my mates that I can get a girl in to bed.
Looking back on it, I think that I did the right thing by dumping her, as it meant that I was able to be with other girls and just enjoy my self. After all I am only fifteen and I want to experience everything not be tied down to one girl.